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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25574536">Writing depressed and self harming characters: a guide by a depressed person</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, No Plot/Plotless, Other, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Writing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:00:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>782</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25574536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sup, my name is PeenkLemonade, just call me peenk, and I'm depressed. As a depressed person, I can't help but get a smidge pissued whenever I see someone write a depressed person entirely incorrectly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Writing depressed and self harming characters: a guide by a depressed person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Foreword: you have people in your corner, even if it doesn't feel that way. I am in no way trying to glorify self harm, or depressive thoughts and actions, despite the carefree way this is being written. Just because everything sucks now, doesn't mean it will in the future. If you feel like you can't talk to anyone about it, message me @prettyboitm on instagram, @ididntdothatnope on tumblr, or @peenklemonade on twitter, my dms are always open, even if I don't respond right away, I will as soon as I can.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TW: Self harm, suicidal thoughts, descriptions and mentions of blood,<br/>
Sup, I'm Peenk, and I’m here to teach you some shit. You may be wondering ‘Hey, peenk, what possessed you to air out your dirty laundry and write this?’ Well, my inquisitive fucker, y'all and are writing your characters for your angst WRONG!<br/>
I know, I know, get the shock and horror out of your system. I, Peenk senpai, will teach you the ins and outs of writing this specific genre of angst!<br/>
First off, self harm.<br/>
I'm gonna start off with the reasoning behind why we have or do it. Personally, for me, it was to force myself into clear headedness, when everything got to be too much. However, other people have different reasons. Sometimes, it's just to get some semblance of control, everyone has their reasons. Try to put yourself in your character's shoes.<br/>
Next, get creative! Not everyone goes for the wrists, especially because of how hard it is to hide. There's more parts on your body than just your arms, too. There's hips, stomach, and thighs, and dear GOD not everyone cuts. There's scratching, burning, pinching and other things of similar ilk. Again, I put my contact information in the foreword if you feel like you have to do these, I promise you, you're not a burden, and I can handle it. I will respond as soon as I can.<br/>
Lastly, learn how burns and cuts work. In my experience, it doesn't immediately start dripping. The blood bubbles up, and takes a moment to fall. Depending on the area it's cut, there can be more or less blood, and they don't all heal at the same time. Recent cuts feel hot!! The amount of times I've faced a body part at a fan is probably way too many at this point. Smaller cuts done slower tend to heal faster, because there's less area to fix, and there's a pretty good chance you can't go too deep. Fast cuts that are longer take much more time to heal, mostly because the indents are larger, and there's more area to fix. I had one on my thigh that took about 3 weeks to heal, and I still have a scar to show for it.<br/>
Next, depressive thoughts.<br/>
They're suffocating, they suck ASS my dude. Sometimes, they're just there, buzzing in the back of your mind like angry bees, but other times, it's like having someone punch you in the face over and over again.<br/>
They make you feel weak, and irritable. I cried so much during that period, because that was how I dealt with negative emotions.<br/>
Actually calling the suicide holine or texting one of those anonymous things is always a dent in the old ego, because you always assume that what you're thinking isn't worse than anyone elses, and it feels like you're taking up time that could be spent helping others.<br/>
And yes, even if you're about to kill yourself.<br/>
Also, speaking of that, get creative in suicide methods. The wrist slitting bathtub thing, while great for theatrics, takes way too long, and someone will eventually break the door down or get in before you can bite the bullet.<br/>
Bleach or other chemicals would work, in theory, however, one teaspoon less than what it takes to kill, can just horribly wreck your body, but not kill you.<br/>
Lastly, how depression actually feels.<br/>
Okay, dudes, I'm gonna level with you. If I see ONE MORE person describe it as constant crushing sadness, I'm gonna bite them. If I see someone who read this, write it like that, I'm manifesting in your home and boiling your teeth.<br/>
That's not what it feels like.<br/>
Sure, you get those moments, but it's mostly like, someone scooped out your emotions, and every so often, socked you intensely in the stomach with what they took. You feel like a husk of yourself, it's designed to make you feel like walking death.<br/>
(Which, in a sense, it is, but I'm not going to get poetic.)<br/>
You still enjoy things, sometimes. My hours long minecraft session, listening to my online friends say stupid shit? I felt better in those moments than most, however, that doesn't mean I wasn't depressed. You lose motivation to do those things you enjoy, you stay in bed, you forget so many things.<br/>
There's also disappointment, so much disappointment. Everytime I looked at my arm after a particularly bad night, I got hit with this wave of shame and slight horror (probably because I hate blood, and like it when my skin is smooth, ruined that for myself, ig).<br/>
In conclusion, write your depressed characters better. Comment any questions you have!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Like I said, my dms are always open, and here are some suicide holines for more qualified individuals; http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html</p></blockquote></div></div>
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